Life has been pretty AWESOME for the past few weeks. I had my 21st birthday celebrations. Not very grand but a quiet and romantic affair.

Had Raj's birthday + BBQ at Pasir Ris Park. Was pretty fun and funny, thanks to the guys who came there.

Pictures for both are up in Facebook if you don't already know.

I literally didn't go to work for 4 days in a row. And 6 days in 2 weeks.

Oh and ya! I pierced my Tragus (ear bud). Not that painful after all. GF also pierced. We do together gether.

Watched alot of movies. And I spent a hefty sum of $200 over 3 days. That is pretty bad. But screw it. If the money you earn is not for you to enjoy than why earn?



This small squabbles make me look back and see how things would have been if that didn't happen. Where or what I'll be doing.
These may feel very childish and immature but sometimes they are the ones who show you what you're capable of.
Sometimes I just want to end all heartbreaks, but letting it all go seems like a very unwise decision. And I am not ready for you to walk out of my life. Like Hell, I would let you do.
If you would do anything at all for that someone you really love, would you kill that person even if they asked you to? THINK!
Every rule set forth by be I've broken. Every risk I have taken.

This lingering feeling I always have, is always dangling it tongues at me whenever this has to happen. As personified as it sounds, feelings do have human features in my world.
My world is not big, its filled with childish desires and dreams. Its somewhere I always feel connected with.
I used to have this very tiny little 'shell', a protective and strong home for me to retreat back into whenever I see, feel or hear things I least desire to experience. That place was home to me. Noone but me knew or saw this 'place'. I'd just recoil into it and shut of from the rest of the world. But as time moved on, I lost my way to the shell. For Lord's sake I even lost it. I decided to speak up whatever was on my mind whenever I see the need to. But doing so only inflicted pain on the person I love. This is unfair, when I retreat its painful, when I speak its hurting. So what am I to do. My best bet seems like I should stick to how things was before. Why did I change to this, someone I don't reconigse? Its love some might argue, but it comes with bad heartaches. If only heart could speak, it would say how much you mean to me, and at the same time it will bleed tears of blood because it hurts that bad.

I was this person 1 year ago who didn't care what others said or thought of me. I lived my life the way I wanted it to be. And now it seems like its too much to ask. Why this is happening is because I chose to say what I feel rather than keeping it to myself. If keeping to myself will get rid of all your misery, I would definatly do it. I feel like I am a coil spring, holding onto to places, trying to keep them in place. taking in the force sent by the things around me, and bouncing it back so that everything else works. But I am afraid of the day where this spring won't take beyond its excertion force and gives way.

I choose to make things this way and now I should have left it the way it was. The amount of effort I put in is not what I see you putting. Its either I doin't see it or I simply choose not to see. How nice it would be to shut your eyes and let everything go by. And when you open everything is over and done with. How simple it sounds!

A troubled mind is a tortured soul. The scars I thought were healed are rubbed with salt. There will be a day when you will know that I am genuine, and I hope it wouldn't be too late.

(Like I said, I'm not a fan of patience and nor does patience ever acknowledge me.)

I just want to start looking back for my shell. Seems like thats the only place I feel at home. I don't need to pretend that everything is alright when it's not.

Truth is what you see from your point. Lies are what makes you see from their point.


Sorry my thoughts are all jumbled up, so pardon the bad sentence flow. I am sleepy beyond reasonable doubt, and I think its time to go to bed, which I already am in.

Sorry for the ranting, just needed to get it off my system.

Happy 10 month annivasary.